Your 'Eureka' Moments

We have likely all experienced those moments when the answer to a question or dilemma we have been mulling over seems to suddenly pop into our heads.  It often feels like it has done so out of no-where, coming from some unknown inner source.  However, these answers actually come from a form of unconscious reasoning, rooted in the ways in which our brain functions.

We are constantly accumulating knowledge, through one medium or another, that our brain stores for us. Our brain though, likes organization and it is constantly sifting our knowledge to find and recognise the patterns that run throughout the different pieces of information we are collecting.  As it does, the brain organizes all of the similar pieces of information into 'chunks' that it then links to other chunks of patterns and data, forming clusters.  (with me still?)

When we are faced with a decision, our brains will think through the decision itself, looking for familiar patterns within it, looking to find a common link with clusters and chunks of information already stored.  When it discovers such a link you then flash to that larger picture, giving you that Eureka! moment.  We interpret it as a flash of intuition, coming out of the blue.

How to craft your Eureka! moments more strategically?  Here are a couple of great tips that will help you develop and learn to listen with greater clarity to your 'intuition'...

1. Pay attention to your hunches.  You needn't 'act' upon them to start but do record them and then 'see' down the road how accurate they are.  Likely you will gain confidence in listening to your hunches in future when you take this step to 'prove' to yourself their relative degree of accuracy.
2. Use the Red Light/Green Light game.  Picture a stoplight in your mind's eye.  We know that Green means go and red means stop, therefore green is yes and positive, while red is no and negative.  To start off you need to prime your mind to use the stoplight correctly, so start off with statements that you know to be clearly true or false, positive or negative.  For instance...  say your name and then picture the stoplight... what colour light flashes (should be green).  Now say a different name and view the stoplight in your head... it should flash red.  Do this a number of times ensuring that the stoplight is 'working' as it should.  Then...  state your decision out loud and 'see' what light colour flashes.  Whichever colour is highlighted is your unconscious mind's thoughts about what choice you should make.  
3. Use your subconscious mind while sleeping.  We all know that our mins remains active while we are at 'sleep'...  this tactic helps you direct and target it to work for you, even while the rest of you isn't working!  Just before bed, write your key thought or question on a piece of paper.  Read it over a couple of times and then go to sleep (leaving your pen and paper beside the bed).  Immediately upon rising in the morning, read the question again, writing down all thoughts that occur to you in that moment.  This is likely a 'dumping' of everything that your brain was able to pull out of its files overnight.  You may find that you wake up during the night with some thoughts... jot them down immediately to not lose them and then go back to sleep!

The next time you are stuck between two choices and you have a little voice in your head that is pointing you in one direction over another...  take the time to listen to it.  That voice is real and is often right!

Finding Your Purpose

As I write this it is the long-weekend here in Canada and I am enjoying the break up at our family cottage.  Okay... 'break' might be a bit of a misnomer since I am busy cleaning out cupboards of any traces of the mice that decided to join us over the colder winter months, cleaning out the gardens, putting the dock in... and whatever pieces of work I've brought with me from the office because... there's always something!

However, it is a totally different environment from the one I left behind and it definitely feels 'break-like' because of that.  As I sit here, early morning, sipping my Chai and watching the mist rise from the lake as the sun catches hold, the sole loon drifting past the end of the dock...  it seems the perfect time and place to think about the concept of Purpose.

I just finished a number of weeks of intensive coaching sessions.  Although we were there for an entirely different intent, it was interesting how often people would ask me what 'work' I thought they were suited for.  They were looking for some direction in finding work that was more satisfying to them, that seemed to 'fit' them better than what they were currently doing.  In essence, they were wondering if I had insights into their Purpose.

Like many, they were frustrated that others had seemingly found 'it' while they continued to struggle with finding anything that seemed to resonate within them, something that filled them with joy, satisfaction or... calling.  I recently came across a great exercise designed to help you discover your Purpose.  Anyone can do this exercise... even those of you that do not believe in the concept of Purpose!  This is taken from the blog of Steve Pavlina, a Personal Development guru.  I do recommend checking out his website (www.stevepavlina.com)

The Exercise:  Sit down in a quiet place at a time that you won't be disturbed (and yes, this means no phone calls, text messages or emails either!).  Take out a blank piece of paper, write My Life's Purpose across the top and... start writing.  Write down anything and everything that comes to mind.  No qualifying.  It doesn't matter if it's practical, doable or even remotely interesting to you.  Keep writing.

Push out the thoughts as though it's your life's mission to fill page after page of ideas.  As Steve puts it, you keep writing ...

...until you have the answer that makes you cry.  This is your purpose.

For some this will come quickly, you are looking for the moment where you write down an idea that fills you with emotion.  You might experience smaller emotional moments along the way that are signs you are getting closer to your true purpose.  It is that larger emotional surge, the idea that resonates fully within you, that defines your purpose.  You don't even have to believe in the idea of  a life's purpose for this exercise to work!

The perfect exercise to do at the end of the dock on a peaceful day at the cottage, or on your back patio, in a coffeeshop with your favourite beverage, or hunkered down over your kitchen table.  The location doesn't matter.  You can do it on a laptop, in a journal or on the back of a napkin.  Hmmm... make that napkins...  you're going to need a bunch!  The main point of course is that you need to DO the exercise, not just think about it.  I'm heading out to the end of the dock, you head on out to what is going to be comfortable for you.

Let me know how this goes for you, what you discover... I'm anticipating a more Purpose-ful and Purpose-filled life.  Not a bad outcome at all!

Focus on the 'Flipping' Point

In his book The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell shared with us the concepts behind how a particular idea, trend or behaviour somehow 'catches' and goes viral.  It's the magical moment when the momentum behind something tips the scales and the idea takes off, spreading with epidemic-like speed.  This is a fascinating concept for businesses to explore and apply to their marketing efforts certainly, but what about its applicability to each of us and our individual self-promotion and bragging campaigns?

To help us see 'how' we can personally create leverage from this Tipping Point concept, Seth Godin coined the phrase The Flipping Point in a recent blog post. As Seth explains, the Flipping Point is all about getting one person buzzing about your message.  Start your Bragging Campaign with one person, give one person one thing to get excited about, and then get one more.

The reality is that there is no Tipping Point, without a prior Flipping Point.  If you can't get one person to flip over the idea of you, then how are you looking to flip an entire group?  Start small.  Keep your focus targeted.  Sell a few select people fully and watch the magic happen.

In essence, you look to strategically identify the 'few' folks within your organization that are likely to have the greatest influence on your campaign.  First of all, Malcolm Gladwell points out, we should focus on the Connectors.  These are the people you know who seemingly 'know' everyone.  Don't focus on their position... that's not the important component.  If you want to get the word out about 'You' and your accomplishments, then you need to get your message in the hands of these people.  The people in your life that almost effortlessly accumulate acquaintances can be especially helpful to you in generating more 'buzz' quickly.

When you get one person to 'flip' they are likely to join your personal cheerleading squad and help you to flip others.  The more people you flip, the bigger the buzz until you hit that magical Tipping Point moment where everyone is buzzing.

The key of course... give them something to 'Flip' over!


(for insights into how you can develop your self-marketing and promotional campaign, check out our new, online Bragging Rights program! It's ready whenever you are to help you learn the Strategies and Tactics that will help you hit that Flipping Point with others.)

Personality vs. Character

Although often used synonymously, these terms represent two very distinct attributes of being.  Personality is generally believed to remain fairly constant over time, and is inclusive of traits such as extroversion, competitiveness, organization, assertiveness and the like.  Though these characteristics may feel as though they mellow over time (our years of experience seeming to temper many of our more extreme personality traits), we often feel that there has been a bigger shift in our personality taking place than is actually the case.

Personality therefore, is deemed to be largely hereditary in its origin.  Character, on the other hand, is believed to be shaped more through socialization and experience.  Our belief systems drive much of our character, which means that, unlike our personality, they may shift and change over time as our experiences impact our beliefs.  This does not mean that character changes are easy, we do not easily give up our beliefs, but it is possible, typically in the face of huge emotional upheaval.

It is our character, comprised of such attributes as honesty, trust, kindness, respect, loyalty, courage, that establishes our morals and ethics.  As a result, our character is not as easily seen or read as our personality may be.  Think of Personality as sitting more on the surface of our interactions with others, while our Character is a little more deep-seated.  In essence...

• Personality: is what we say and do when everyone is watching
• Character: is what we say and do when no one is watching

The challenge we each face relates to our ability to accurately gauge the associated personality and character of others we are working and interacting with.  Studies show us that we tend to be better at accurately decoding personality elements but are not nearly as intuitive or accurate in our assessment of character.  In fact, we have a strong tendency to assign more positive character traits to those we deem to have a more attractive and positive personality.  This, of course may not have any direct correlation, but we tend to think that if someone is more outgoing, confident and fun that they are also more honest, moral and kind.  Making this association could come back to bite us in the butt later though, when we discover that our fun-loving friend is much more deceitful than we had earlier believed.

Generally, it is found that we have two key reasons for unconsciously linking personality to character.  

1. we want to think positively of people that we like (so we assign them other positive characteristics)
2. truly trying to assess someones character is extremely time-consuming.  In fact, the best way to assess someones character is to observe their behaviour during truly character-challenging situations, using their behaviour there as a predictor of future behaviour

So...  

• the friend that is the life of the party, so much fun to be around... but who speaks about others behind their back...
• the business partner who seems so easy to talk to, open and gregarious, but who easily pockets 'extra' change given by a server in error...
• the prospective life partner who seems like the 'perfect' complement to your personality, but who never returns items they 'borrow' from others...

...may each require a closer inspection.  You may find that your perception of their Personality is influencing the accurate judgement of their Character.  In our relationships with others, personality may help us with our initial attraction to someone, but it will be character that makes or breaks it in the long run.  Deceitful and unethical behaviours are all a question of Character. 

How has yours been shaping up lately?

 

The Death of Dreams

• 'You've never really been any good at that sort of thing'
• 'I've heard there are tons of people going after the same thing... almost no one ever makes it'
• 'You know that never happens to people like us'

These are the types of things 'they' say, the kinds of innocent-seeming statements 'they' make to slowly, but surely, kill our dreams.  You know - those visions and plans we have that would somehow serve to make us 'more' than we are now, that would have us do different, to get different, to be different.

We all have people in our lives that would rather we stay where we are in life.  They will offer their thoughts under the guise of caring...

• 'You know it's only because I care about you that I'm telling you this...'
• 'It pains me to say this...'
• 'You know I love you but...'

The expectation, of course, is that if they care about us, if they love us... maybe they are right.  Oh, we may not be so willing to let go of our dreams completely, but their words plant the seeds of doubt and we hesitate. The continual reinforcement of these messages serves to water those seeds, allowing them to take root and grow, eroding our self beliefs, until our dreams drift away.

'They' say it's out of love that they tell us such things... the you can'ts, you aren'ts... but is it really?  Often, we are told these things less from a belief that we truly couldn't and more from a fear that we truly could!  The objections 'they' offer us are less about us than they are about them.  They like things as they are.  They like us as we are.  Mostly because, in some way, we - as we are - make them feel better about themselves as they are.  If we change in some way then it changes things... for them!  They may feel bad... about themselves.  Because if we can do it, then all of the excuses they have given themselves as to why they aren't doing it get challenged.  

Regardless of the dream that you have, others in your life may not want you to change for one of two reasons.

1. they felt better about having/being/doing more than you when you had/were less (they like feeling superior to you and don't want you levelling the playing field)
2. They felt better about not having/being/doing something because you were right there with them, providing them with proof that it's not just them (misery does love company after all!)

These people are dream stealer's. They will do whatever they can to kill your dreams off so that their dreams aren't threatened.  Make no mistake, this is done out of love of themselves, not of you.  We need, therefore, to learn to maintain our own belief and momentum, by ensuring that our self-love supersedes the need to be loved by those 'others' in our life.  Out of that self-love comes the commitment to live our dreams not negate them, to live a life of self-belief not self-doubt, to live a life of purpose not regret.

Let others choose their own path, just as you need to choose yours.  And... for all those that doubted and questioned your dreams and choices?  Let your success stand on its own and serve as your personal statement of...

I Told You So!

Branding, Bragging and your Brain

I speak with my clients often about the need for a strong, clear Personal Brand.  The stronger your brand, the more memorable you are and likely the more recognition and rewards you will receive.  A new study has shown that there is an additional benefit to the creation of a strong branded message...your Brain likes Brands.

In a new study, presented at the Radiological society of North America by Christine Born, M.D., it was shown that when people are presented with a known branded image, their brains processed these images in the same part of the brain associated with positive emotions.  Unfamiliar brands, however, not only activated areas of the brain associated with negative emotions, they also took more effort for the brain to process.  The MRI scans of the brains in both male and female subjects reacted similarly.

In short...  the MRI scans show that brains respond better to name brands.  The results of the study are interesting certainly, from the perspective of why we might prefer one product over another.  I think though, that it also has some interesting implications for the need to not only develop a clear Personal Brand but to learn to Brag about it too!

At a Corporate level, this study definitely seems to support the perceived value of marketing and advertising efforts.  The more often you can be 'seen', the more familiar your audience becomes with your branded message.  This familiarity in turn creates positive associations at the brain level that work to your advantage.  Why would this prove any different for the perceptions and branded images we have of those around us?

If Corporations benefit from targeted marketing messages about their products, then you too can benefit from the delivery of clear and consistent messages about your product - You!  All too often we make the mistake of wanting our work to speak for us.  In the 'busy' world of business though, our work can go largely unnoticed.  We must therefore learn to find our voice and speak up on behalf of our efforts; we need to learn to Brag Better!

Start with a clear idea of who you are and what you stand for - Your Branded Message.  Then look for ongoing ways in which to demonstrate, support and speak about yourself within these terms.  The more consistent and clear your message, the stronger the brand.  The stronger the brand, the more comfortable your audience will be with the messaging and the more positive the associations within the brains of your audience. This... is powerful.

Given that few people do this well, do is consistently or do it strategically, it needn't be Big Brags to be effective.  Small but pointed reminders about what you bring to the table, or that highlight your key skills, are often all that it takes.  Don't dilute your branded message by trying to be all things to all people.  Get to the heart of you and sell that, over and over.


(think you still might need some extra help and direction with creating your Bragging Campaign?  Check out our new online program - Bragging Rights - for strategies and tactics to help you not just get seen and heard... but get ahead!)

The Motivation of 'More'

I was working with a client a couple of weeks ago, he must have been all of 35, and we were speaking about what his thoughts were for his career in the future.  Pretty basic question and, although I don't expect everyone to have a clear, defined roadmap of exactly what they want, I would typically expect someone his age to respond with some variation of...  more, different, or other as desired goals.  

I was taken aback then by his response...  'I'm done'!  

35 and... this is it?  

Now, don't get me wrong.  I don't think that everyone needs to strive to be CEO, to own their own business or even want a management role.  That's not my point.  More, different or other don't require a move 'up' so much as they imply that you are open to a change at some point.  A change that perhaps tests out and develops a new skill, gives you the opportunity to try something different, expands your perspectives, lets you learn something new, upgrades your skills... SOMETHING!

But... 'I'm done'?????  A possible 30 more years of working and... you're done?

I consider myself a work in progress.  I reserve the right to be better at something tomorrow, than I was today, to know something tomorrow I did not today and to therefore make better decisions and choices for myself as a result.  I think back to what and who I was at 35 and have a hard time reconciling that with the person I am today, the growth I have experienced, the learning, the development, the career shifts...

Although we all have different levels of comfort with the concept of change, we need to leave ourselves open to even incremental changes occurring, to prevent stagnation.  We can't just simply 'stop' where we are because nothing else around us enters into the same holding pattern.  Life doesn't exist in a vacuum.  It moves, grows, shifts over time, as do the people in our lives.  We too need to move, grow and shift in order to, at the very least, accommodate the shifts and eddies of those around us, lest we be left behind.  

Leave yourself some wiggle room by keeping your options open.  Envisioning a future that is 'more' or 'different' from your current situation does not have any value associated with it as to how 'much' more different it is.  The size of the shift is up to you and whatever your comfort zone will accommodate, but not leaving that opening implies no change at all.  Nada.  This is the very essence of stagnation.  

Live your life with the one true aim of being 'more' each day.  Being more in some small way, each and every day, creates incremental but definitive growth.  This small step of possibility leaves the door open to other possibilities that you wouldn't be otherwise.  No one knows for certain what the future holds, but if you don't leave yourself open to potential and possibility, I can guarantee what your future won't hold.   

Leave a small crack in the door for opportunities and change.  Just the very acknowledgement of wanting 'more' of some kind can be a catalyst for change that you wouldn't have imagined otherwise.  

And... for those of you who dare to be bolder, join me in my preferred vision.  

When my time comes, sometimes past the age of 100,  I expect to be dragged off to heaven by angels while wailing the whole way... 

But...  I'm not done yet!

Rewrite your Labels, Rewire your Brain!

We all act according to our personal definitions of ourselves, those labels that we attach to the picture of ourselves we hold in our heads. If your label for yourself says that you're 'shy' then it comes complete with a list of behaviours that you will typically engage in, that epitomize your view of 'shyness'.  But it also comes complete with a list of behaviours that are opposite to your definition that you therefore do not display.  This list looks like a running commentary of impossibilities, each typically prefaced by a statement such as:

• I can't...
• I'm not...
• I don't...

Unfortunately, each of these is also stated in absolute terms.  It's these phrases that form the basis of our limiting beliefs, those beliefs that inhibit us from doing, trying or becoming sometimes the very things that we want for ourselves.

To move forward, we have to challenge these limiting belief systems.  We have to reframe them to more positive statements that at least serve to open us to possibilities rather than cutting us off from them.  For example, 

• I'm not athletic.  [Result - you won't engage in any athletic activity]

Reframe it instead as...

• I am athletic 'enough'.  [Result - it creates the possibility for you to participate in athletic activities.  It frees you from having to be great at them, or even good.  You are athletic 'enough' to get off the couch and 'do' it!  All too often we stop ourselves from engaging in activity we would enjoy, simply because we think we might not be any good at it.  Think instead of only needing to good enough.  Far more open a belief!

Consider the statement...

• I am not good at speaking in public.  [Result - I don't deliver presentations or speak up in meetings, costing me precious visibility within the company]

Reframe it instead...

• I am able to speak convincingly with others, regardless of venue.  [ Result - this sets the mindset that you will be confident and capable of speaking in public, allowing your brain to set you up for success instead of failure!  The brain likes to give you what you ask of it.  Ask it to fail and it will.  Ask for something positive and specific and it is far more likely to ensure that's what you get]

Now sit down and start examining your limiting beliefs.  Listen for the times in your head that you fail to attempt something because that voice is telling you...  I can't, I don't, I'm not.  Those are your cues to examine and rewrite those beliefs.  Rewiring the way that your brain thinks about certain activities will open you to experience more success in your life.  

Forget what your IQ says; how's your Successful Intelligence level?

You have likely heard the saying... 'Common Sense isn't so Common', but have you ever really wondered about the impact of common sense on our success?  Psychologist Robert Sternberg has been conducting research that does just that.

Sternberg always found the belief that Intelligence tests could accurately predict business and personal success to be flawed.  Most standard IQ tests measure a very narrow range of abilities, many of which aren't strong indicators or predictors of success itself.  He therefore has begun presenting his thoughts on what he calls Success Intelligence, the ability to think in ways that help you to develop your personal excellence and to ultimately thrive and excel at work.

Your Successful Intelligence is made up of three key ways of thinking:

1. Analytical Thinking, which is the ability to solve problems and judge ideas
2. Creative Thinking, the ability to come up with new and innovative solutions to problems
3. Practical Thinking, the ability to use and implement your ideas effectively.

Your level of Successful Intelligence is greatest, and most effective, when these three key types of thinking are operating in balance with one another.  People with high levels of Successful Intelligence know how to make the most of what they have and are able to actively find ways to work around any of their limitations.  In essence, this is very much in alignment with what I share with clients all of the time: the need to focus on developing your strengths, while finding ways to minimize your weaknesses.

J. Robert Baum, Director of Entrepreneurship Research at the University of Maryland, says that your learning orientation has a direct impact upon your entrepreneurship success.  Those that don't learn much from their past experiences don't tend to gain much in the way of Practical Intelligence, thereby seriously impacting their ability to start or run successful new ventures.  Those with high Practical Intelligence though, tend to learn best by doing and not by watching or reading, providing them with hands-on, practical experience they can apply to a variety of different opportunities in future.

Your Successful Intelligence, and in particular your Practical Intelligence, is completely separate from your IQ, which is why some with very high IQ levels can prove to be unsuccessful in business while those with comparatively lower IQs might enjoy a great deal more success.  He and his group ran a number of experiments in which they determined that Practical Intelligence was a key determining factor in entrepreneurial success, rating much higher than IQ.  

The implication for each of us is, of course, to let go of any notion that we might not be 'smart enough' to take on new tasks or roles and that we should consider whether we have Analytical, Creative and Practical Intelligence needed to be successful.  

From childhood we have gotten too hung up on the concept of IQ being the indicator of how far we will travel in life.  Today we are coming to recognise that there are a significant number of other factors that contribute to our overall success, IQ is just one, which helps explain why that 'guy' who kept getting A+ grades all through school may just end up reporting to you, despite your solid B-level grades.  Turns out there's more to it, and to you, than previously was known.

The Power of Introverts

Quiet.

This is the lifeblood of the introvert, their deepest need and desire.  Not necessarily the quiet of a total absence of sound, but the sort of quiet that allows for solitude, a time for internal reflection and thought.  Today's workplaces though allow for few opportunities for individuals to break away from group meetings and discussions, or from group-think brainstorming sessions, and truly have time to think and process ideas on their own.  Without this time though, introverts suffer and we rarely then get the best ideas from them.

In her new book, Quiet, Susan Cain speaks out not only about the inherent differences between Extroverts and Introverts, but why we need to modify the way we live, teach and work in an effort to truly allow introverts, and not just extroverts, to shine.  With a third to half of North America's population being more introverted by nature, our failure to create cultures that recognise and embrace their natures often results in poorer decisions, ideas and insights.

I have attached a Ted-talk given by Susan Cain that you will surely find interesting and enlightening.  For you extroverts out there, I hope that you gain some insights about how you might work with, manage and mentor your more introverted co-workers better.  And for my introverted brethren...  I hope you discover in this talk the message that you are not alone, that you are not 'wrong' for wanting to spend time on your own and, perhaps most importantly, that you come to realize how much the world needs and counts on the insights you develop in those solo flights of mind.